If we think about our own lives as being a journey on a bus, surrounded by a great variety of people, all with particular positions on our bus that relate to where they fit into our lives. Some are right there next to us; some behind us; some in front of us… but all are important in playing some role in how we are “positioned” in their lives, and they in ours.
As I write this, I am reminded of the movie ‘Speed’ with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves – where they were all on a bus being controlled by a maniac demanding a ransom. The truth is that all too often our lives can be like that; out of control, with someone else doing the driving.
A fearful situation? Of course it is!
The brutal truth is that so many people are living out that nightmare bus-ride right now! Out of control – and don’t know what they can do about it.
OK, now you’ve got the scene in your mind. In order to get some perspective on our own lives, we need to move to the back seat of the bus for a while and become the observer of what is really going on.
We need to observe who the most significant people are and how they are positioned in our lives.
Are they standing over us because they feel superior? Are they moving forward in their own lives and leaving us behind? Are they falling behind us because we’ve chosen to move forward?
So now we are faced with an important question, ‘Who’s driving your bus?’
Is it someone from your past who has dominated you even though they’re not present in your life now? Are they still taking you where you want to go? Do you feel like you would like the bus to stop and get off? Now here comes the challenge…
From this rear seat of observation, we need to start to move closer to the driver’s seat. It doesn’t matter how long this takes and it doesn’t matter how much we are challenged by the people who may be trying to block our progress forward. We have to do this for ourselves… starting right now!
Our goal is to be in the driver’s seat of our own lives!
It is inevitable that we are going to be challenged, and that’s when we need courage!
Yes – we will all take different lengths of time to move forward… that’s when we need persistence, and patience with ourselves!
Most certainly, we will feel daunted at times by this process… that’s when we need to have determination!
We are going to ask people to vacate their seats (which can possibly be their dominant positions in our lives) so that we can move forward towards that front seat we wish to occupy. We are going to have to sit in the middle of the bus at times while we learn to muster more courage and determination to move forward again. This is all part of the process, so stick with it because this is all for YOU!
During this process of moving forward, we must remain conscious of where the bus is now and think about where we really want to take it once we’re up front and in control.
One very important point! At no stage in this process do we tread on someone if they get in our way. (as we move forward) Simply step around them and move on.
OK – you’ve made it! You have asked the driver to step aside and let you have your turn. And now you’re in the seat. It’s all up to you now!
If you’re not too sure of what to do and how to do it, just stop and park for a while. It doesn’t matter what you do and how long it takes because this is your game now. So play it your way!
Get crystal clear on where you choose to take your bus now and very clear on who you wish to accompany you on this new journey. The rest is a process of trusting your own judgement and decisions.
Good luck . . . and always remember: “What other people do or say is their stuff. How we react is our stuff.”
Written by Phil Evans