HOW I TRUST PEOPLE….

Well, basically, as what the other schools of psychology says, People are basically good, not bad. Let’s hold on to that premise for the meantime and collect some data if it is true. Well, I’ve driven myself to the bottom of the pit where I physically fought with my mom to bring her to a place of realization under my own perspective, I mocked my brother’s intelligence using mine as reference, I belittled a lot of people’s abilities and characters, again using me as reference point. Hmmm what else?, I violated most of the 10 commandments. My husband was a user then became a pusher and even abused our children physically and verbally since they’re kids. There are so much for me to itemize. However, how come people still see us as people they can rely, trust, and respect nowadays? They mostly said that we changed for the better and that we came across a path of realization for us to accept that what we have done in the past are already part of the our past selves. Hmmm, so it is true. People are basically good, not bad. BUT, how come I don’t take this premise easily and just switch my prejudice, oppositional, and judgmental level on every time I get to acquaint  with strangers? Most especially with people that I have worked, dealt, and mingled with. Does this boil down to the past being a trusting factor?

Next premise, trust is earned through respect. Ironically speaking, I’ve been dodging this premise ever since because of difficulty. I need to respect a person first before I trust him/her. Narcissistic? Paranoid? Duh! I usually just laugh a lot on things and even on people. Or maybe experience just led me to rather entertain myself than seeing those set-ups, as if they are not pain-inflicting things or one of those lame-ohs! But I still feel vulnerability inside me when I’m all alone. It’s like I need a point of reference where I can build a self that is strong. Which then again, I need people whom I can trust to rebuild that so-called self. It just leaves me here. A user because I fear being alone. I consider it a therapy that I created without me noticing it.  However, how I see myself right now, I am strong, confident, and ready to face anything or anyone. I can now set down my rage without hurting anyone, physically and verbally. Thanks for the experiences, it made me a person who thinks and responds in a humane manner now. I have been delivered by forces that are now boosting my attitude straight.

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